Dear ALCHEMIST…
Falling face first into the toy bin as a toddler prompted me to exclaim my first ever word: “Stuck!”.
I would still be incredibly stuck in this toy-bin-called life if not for the help of others. People who transmute their trauma & leave trail markings along the way are heroes. I am so inspired by human resiliency & our inherent trend towards healing. It is my intention to amplify the things that have helped me most so that healing may multiply.
This will be an ongoing entry – I will recall resources that have helped me over the years & share new resources as I discover them. I may share a few words about each entry, but most of these really speak for themselves. Take what resonates & leave rest.
If you are here – hi. :) Thank you, I see & love you. We are kindred in our call to recover.
– jx
book recommendations:
All About Love – Bell Hooks
It’s Not You – Dr. Ramani Durvasula
Trauma and Recovery – Judith Herman
Why Does He Do That? – Lundy Bancroft
The Way of Integrity – Martha Beck
The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van Der Kolk
dr. jockers: regain your terrain digestive health protocol
Healing my gut in 2019 was foundational for all of the healing that has come in the years since. Trying to tune into our intuition while we are dealing with disease, chronic pain, & inflammation is almost impossible. Our gut influences so much & is overlooked as the most obvious place to start when treating things like depression, fatigue, inflammation, and imbalance. This changed my life. I talk a bit about my experience with this protocol here.
Dr. Ramani is a personal favorite. Her book “It’s Not You” was foundational in my own healing & her youtube content is something I turn to almost every day as I recover and reprogram myself about what is healthy and acceptable in relationships. I cannot stress enough how iconic she is & how instrumental she has been to the introduction of these topics to the mainstream. This video in particular highlights a distinction I’ve felt before but not had the words to describe until I saw this.
I find this commentary by James Christensen & Catherine Roebuck to be such a useful & necessary series. James periodically mentions his own recovery from narcissistic traits as well which I find to be courageous & necessary.
Despite the title, Julie offers some of the most nuanced, non-sensationalized information through Hayden’s story. Learning from tragedies like this is one of the only silver linings & the words Julie speaks from 9:40-12:27 are some of the most astute, important words I’ve ever heard. I’ve enjoyed many of this creators videos.
"All About Love" is a classic. While it may be more anecdotal and less clinical or dense than other related texts, this makes it a great place to start. It was the first book I read after my breakup. This book gave me the language I’d been looking for to say: love and abuse cannot coexist. The love I offer — and now the love I expect in return — must be free of domination, coercion, and any form of abuse, whether physical, emotional, or psychological. It must be a love that nurtures, respects, and allows space for each person to be their authentic self without fear or control.
I came across this creator today (June 30, 2025). He’s one of the only creators I’ve seen who openly shares his diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder & his belief that recovery is possible feels surprisingly hopeful after over a year of consuming content which mainly suggests the opposite. I’m still digging into his content so proceed with discernment!